One day, you will more than likely be given what I believe is the most important job of all. You won't get paid for doing it, it will absolutely exhaust you some days, you will feel like you are succeeding one minute and completely failing the next, you will never experience another job like it in your lifetime, you will be overwhelmed with emotion as you experience it....you will become a mommy.
If I wrote everything I have learned on this journey so far, I would be writing forever. The funny thing is I have only had this job for 5 years, 6 if you count pregnancy. I don't want to bore you with details, but instead focus on things that have been life lessons for me while being a mommy.
You are not perfect. You were not a perfect baby, you are not a perfect child, you will probably not be a perfect teenager, perfect girlfriend, perfect wife. Don't expect to be a perfect mommy. You will fail sometimes. I failed, my mom failed, my grandmother failed.....everyone makes mistakes. It is one of the greatest ways to grow and become stronger as a mommy. You make mistakes, you learn from them, and you discover ways to do things differently and more successfully. Embrace your mistakes, teach your children what you learned, pray when you aren't sure what the answers should be, pray when you think you do know the answers.
There are so many decisions that you will have to make regarding your children. During pregnancy you will have to choose a doctor, decide if you will exercise during pregnancy or not, if you will drink caffeine, whether you want an epidural during delivery or not. During the first year of your baby's life, you will have to decide if you want to breastfeed, if you want to vaccinate your child, what pediatrician you will use, if you will circumcise your little boy, whether you will work or stay home. As the baby grows, you will have to decide if you will send them to preschool, when you will potty train, how you will discipline them, what you will feed them, and on and on and on. A lifetime of decisions regarding your child begin the day you see a plus sign on the pregnancy test. No matter what, make a decision that you truly believe is best for you and your child and believe in it. Trust your gut instinct and go with it. Don't waiver, don't feel guilty, don't look around to see what other mommies are doing. You are strong, you are smart, you are completely capable of making decisions. Make them and believe in yourself. Remember that God chose you, YOU, to be your child's mommy. He created you with this job in mind. He has prepared you....believe that! Believe that with everything in you and be confident.
Be honest and real with other mommies. If you are having a bad day, don't be afraid to speak it. Other mommies need to hear it just as much as you need to say it. Everyone has bad days, yet so many people are embarrassed to admit that they were frustrated that they had to get up in the middle of the night with their newborn while their husband snored the night away, that their two year old has thrown 15 temper tantrums in 30 minutes, that their three year old screamed "NO!" at the grocery store when a stranger asked them a question, that they let their 4 year old watch tv all morning because they were too tired to do anything else with them. It is hard to share your weak moments, but they help strengthen you and others around you. The foundation of friendships should be built on honesty and truth. Be real! God can use you in powerful ways when you are real!
Embrace the great moments! Truly take them in and embrace them. Don't focus so much on big events such as birthday parties, the first days of school, the big vacations that you don't cherish the little baby feet that only stay small for what seems like a second, the laughter of your child when you tickle them, the conversations about a ladybug crawling on the back porch, the way your child pronounces a word in a way that only they can, the moments you dance together to music, or the snuggles they give you at just the right time. The everyday, simple, unimportant moments are some of the best. However, it is hard to see that in the midst of the chaos. And believe me, there will be chaos! If you have a moment when you see something you feel like you should embrace and you just don't feel it, you have no desire or energy to even give it a second thought....that, sweet girl, is ok! Don't feel guilty if something that should be special, cute, funny just isn't special, cute or funny at that moment. Everyone has those thoughts too!
Thank you girls for teaching me. I hope to be able to write you more letters, more experiences, more lessons that I have learned. However, if I never say another thing, you will be fine. I know this for sure. God has you. He holds you in His hand and He has you. He loves you more than I ever could, and I believe with everything in me that you will be completely fine. However, I love sharing with you about you, about me, just as much as I love listening to your stories about the butterfly in the backyard.
I love you!
Mommy
4 comments:
Beautifully said. You are a great mommy. :)
Touching.
Love!!
This is so beautiful! What a gift you're giving your girls! Thanks for sharing!
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